Called To Be Perfect

God, guide my hand, my heart, and my mind. Speak Your words through me.

Tonight was a great reminder of several things. 1-Why I’m Catholic. 2-People know I’m Catholic. 3-I’m most definitely a sinner. I’m going to work my way backwards on this one.

I was extremely blessed to be able to spend time with my best friends from high school tonight. It was a ton of fun with lots of laughing and possibly a record number of jokes. It’s always awesome to get the chance to catch up and just spend time in community with each other. However, I came to an unpleasant realization about myself tonight: when I’m around people that I’m super familiar with, I get a little louder, make more jokes, and don’t think as much before I speak. I rationalize saying things that probably shouldn’t be said because my friends (or my family) won’t judge me. In my head I think that they know I’m a good person (for the most part) and will overlook the stupid stuff that often comes out of my mouth. (By stupid stuff, I mean insensitive jokes, gossiping, being on the verge of poor language, etc.) On top of that, any shot at a quiet, humble, holy nature is just thrown out the window. I’m not going to hide that I screw up, believe me, it’s quite frequent. Praise God that 1, His mercy is unfailing and 2, I’m starting to see my faults!

Which brings me to 2: people know I’m Catholic. The whole reason I started thinking about this was because of some stuff one of my friends said to me tonight. One of the first things she noticed when I got there was the rosary bracelet I was wearing and she commented that every time she sees me I’ve got a new religious piece of jewelry. Now I don’t think that this is necessarily a bad thing but coming from her, it wasn’t intended as a compliment. She is an incredible person but in terms of religion and beliefs, we aren’t quite on the same page. Later in the evening, I made a dumb, insensitive joke about some recent events without thinking even thinking about it, and in a joking manner she said, “Oh, Lauren, you’re going to have to pray an extra rosary tonight for that”.  (And yes I probably should!)

The thing is though, while she was poking fun and just joking around, I realized that she now has that association of me messing up and me being Catholic. Yes, obviously everyone knows all humans mess up but the fact that I haven’t hidden my beliefs means people are watching. I know, “people are watching” sounds pretty paranoid and very self-centered but in all reality it’s true! We, as Catholic Christians, who have devoted ourselves to living holy lives to please and to serve a much greater God than this world, are on pedestals. All of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, observe the words and actions of others in both positive and negative situations and we remember them. Which is one (among many) reasons why we are called to constant holiness; regardless of what we are doing or who we are with.

Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48

Does that mean we will ever be perfect, absolutely not! But you better believe we’re supposed to try. Every thought, every word, and every action must follow a desire toward perfection, toward deepening our relationship with Christ, and toward forming ourselves to be more like Him. It’s crucial that we constantly reassess ourselves and ask, “Am I glorifying God?” Not only in our personal prayers or the time we spend in church but in who we are as human beings, the living creatures that were breathed into existence by God in the first place.

Finally, I should say that there are innumerous reasons why I am and why I love being Catholic! However, one that is standing out to me tonight is that the mercy that God offers us through this Faith, (though we are so undeserving) is boundless. I messed up today. At so many times and in so many situations, I failed to embody Christ but the knowledge that I can take part in the Sacrament of Penance and that tomorrow I will be able to receive the Blessed Sacrament by God’s beautiful grace is reason to rejoice! Take comfort in knowing, that even though we sadly will continue to fail, Christ’s mercy will never fail us.

Praise God!

Glory in the Defeat!

I ask Lord that you guide my hand and take what comes of it as a prayer and offering to You. And so we begin! I just finished a Catholic spiritual gifts inventory and as it turns out, writing is one of my top charisms, so I'm trying it out for a bit. What great timing too! So much has been going on and there are so many things I'd like to share but I'll try to take it slow.

Last night for example. Last night was an incredible blessing! I got to spend some great time with a new friend, strengthening our friendship but also each others relationships with God. (At least she helped stregthen mine!) We briefly met in the last two weeks and right after, met again at the Frassati Conference (more on that later!). She is truly a God-send in my life right now. Not only do we have very similar interests and personalities but it seems that our struggles and joys align as well. Though I've known her only briefly, I've seen so many wonderful traits in her that I strive to mimic in my own path towards holiness. Her faith, drive, joy, and grace have already touched and encouraged me. I look forward to that friendship growing!

Over the last few weeks, a quick cultimation of events has brought me to a wonderful place in my life. A month ago, some significant and unexpected changes took place. Leading up to this time, I'd been fairly strong in my faith, seeing areas I needed growth in but overall had settled into a very comfortable feeling and routine. Praise God, a hardship was thrown my way! I don't know that there has been a time yet in my life that I have needed God more. (Although to put things in perspective, my problems are nothing next to so many others, truly I have been blessed). However, it's clear now, it really was time for change on many levels, in my personal life but especially in my dependency on God, our Father.

I cannot stress or explain enough how much we must value and cherish struggles, trials, and hardships. Without them we'd have nothing pushing us to grow and increase our dependency on Christ. Tough times challenge us to rely not on ourselves or our own understanding but on Christ who alone strengthens us.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will set your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

And boy has this summer presented that opportunity to me! I've been given the opportunity to just say, "You know God, I can't do this alone, please carry me". I've had to admit my weakness and defeat and take up a childlike dependency on Jesus. For those people who have journeyed with me, the way I've tried to explain to them how I am is that humanly i hurt but spiritually i'm strengthened. If in our human defeat, we turn to God and rely fully upon Him, He is, by that, glorified! In turn, He will strengthen us, which I can joyously personally attest to!

Absolutely my pride likes to get in the way and has been a factor in my times of weakness throughout this summer. The fall of man began with an act of pride (Adam in the garden, desiring the same power as God). The devil used pride then and continues to use it now in so many more ways than we can even see. We can dwell on things, swim in self pity pools, overanalyze, and doubt all we want but in terms of getting to the Kingdom, that does us no good. We have to let go of ourselves. We have to pray and ask God to provide the strength we lack and the wisdom and courage to see the bigger picture. Or at least if we can't see it, have faith that it's there and God knows what He is doing. We've got to keep our eyes on the prize... Jesus. Definitely at times much easier said than done, so let us continue to pray for acceptance of and the ability to carry out His most holy will!

Praise God!

Thanksgiving!

 Each time I find reason to complain I think of a million more people that only dream of the blessed life I live and a million more things for which to be thankful.

When I somehow twist the cough I can't get rid of, into a life threatening disease (thank you WebMD), I remember that in reality, there are people with real life threatening diseases. I think of the girl who is in the hospital right now with her family, waiting for the cancer to win. She hasn't done the things in her life she wanted to, she hasn't had time. And her parents? Well, can we even imagine the pain they're going through as they watch their child slip away? You need something to be thankful for? Good health.

When I feel lazy and just want to spend the day in bed, I think of all the people I've met with mental setbacks and special needs. I can walk, talk, and sit. I can stand for 36 straight hours and dance and sing and smile. I can make conversation with other people and not have strangers stare at or away from me. These people can't. It's a struggle to sit up in bed let alone walk across the room. It's a daily burden to face the outside world because the world has a mean tendency to misunderstand and judge. You need something to be thankful for? Legs.

When I complain of being too cold, throw on a sweatshirt and minutes later am complaining about how hot it is, I think of the people who are huddled outside somewhere right now, wishing they had a least one blanket to fight the cold of teh falling rainand snow. I think of these people holding onto the hope that the next stranger to pass will be the first Good Samaritan out of maybe a hundred and give them a means for something warmer or just acknowledge their presence, their humanity. And here I am sitting on a sheet, comforter, and a snuggie inside a house that protects me from the cold, rain, snow and any other dangers that have no reason to even cross my mind. You need something to be thankful for? A full closet.

When I get frustrated that none of my shoes match my outfit, I think of the kids who don't have shoes. The kids who walk to get their water and put in more miles to get there than the number of cups they'll drink in the end. I think of the mangled and pain ridden feet who continue to walk to get some water, however unclean, to take care of someone else. The number of shoes I have ever owned does not remotely compjare with the number of bare fee in our region of the country alone, and I've owned a lot of shoes. Now think globally the number of bare feet... Need something to be thankful for? Shoes and water.

When I get annoyed that my brother talks too loud or my parents misunderstand me, I think of the kids who don't have families to call their own. Kids who are placed in stranger's homes for a month only to get moved again for the fifth time this year; little girls and boys who don't know a soul because their parents are gone and their siblings were separated from them in the system. Who knows if they'll ever be seen again. What do you think these kids are doing this holiday season? Certainly not playing a mad game of Mexican Train or Scrabble and not decorating the Christmas tree with the family. Any rich family tradition is lost in the hope for simply that, a family. Need something to be thankful for? Mom and dad.

Now I am a very, very blessed person. I have been given many things, many if not most of which I do not deserve. I live a happy, healthy, well-rounded life and there is nothing I truly need that I can't get if I don't already have it. I have a tendency to overlook struggles I do not have and be ignorant of struggles I will never face. Maybe this isn't the same for you but likely there are similarities. The fact that you are reading this right now means you have a livings pace with a computer, you have eyes, and among other things you have a brain to allow you to process my thoughts here.

I could not begin to express everything for which I am thankful. There are far too many things and I fear I would overlook some important ones. I will say I am thankful for a loving God and freedom to practice my beliefs and religion without fear, I am thankful for all my family, and I am thankful for all my friends. And if you're looking for something to be thankful for today, remember your legs. Be thankful for your legs.

God Bless,

Lauren